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Thats what I'm calling it. Why not? The idea that someone can change, is an idea that for some people is too hard. R says that people can't change, he's wrong! I spent 10 years unemployed, I spent 3 years living in a place a long way away from people, living in a state of me being alone for a lot of the time, this meant for me long periods of depression, only going out when someone called and said I could go out only because I could rely on them for contact. I dwelt on a lot of things during that time, some of them harmful, a lot of them alchoholic, I nearly became a drunk during that time. Then I moved. Then came M. I moved in with M because of neccessity rather than anything else. Here I am now, 36 years old still living with M, I thought that I was going to spend my life living, waiting for someone to help me. That ends now I asked for help from people I didn't think saw me as nothing more than someone that always did that. This is where R is wrong People do change I changed And now when I asked on this Journal for help my friends helped, not because they listened to me in a pub, but because on this journal they told me what I needed to know, no bollocks, not telling me what they feel I need to know, but what I actually need to know, what I need to do to live my life, not just to fix little things about my life but the real stuff. It will happen Thank you Mcnazgul I will not let you down I will do what needs to be done For now Jules
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Browse by artist name: # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Free Music Downloads: Access over 2,000,000 tracks today! My Immortal Rating: 8.42 submit more Evanessence lyrics Free Evanessence Music Download I'M SO TIRED OF BEING HERE (CHORUS) AND YOU STILL HAVE ALL OF ME YOU USED TO CAPIVATE ME BY YOUR RESSENATING LINES (CHORUS) I TRIED SO HARD TO TELL MYSELF WHEN YOU CRY This is the end New Life I will win Jules (Or maybe someone Else)
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"The Ballad of the Ancient Weapon" The Brave band battled the hideous Vampires, terrible Weretigers and the fearsome Rakshasa and prevailed they found the hidden way into the darkness below, to the level they had been told no one could live through but steeling themselves against the growing dark they descended. Three ways lay before them, one either side and one heavily fortified ahead, the valiant (sometimes), Walker Boh (my Bro's character) chose the right way, aided by his valiant comrade in arms he examined the door for devices of devious death, there were none. With a flourish he danced aside (see what I mean by sometimes) and waited for someone else to open the portal to who knows what, Brator (Langleys Character) stepped up and opened the portal to reveal what, a huge slavering demonic beast, no, a vast pile of riches, no, what he found was the tomb of an ancient and apparently famous lothario who died well somehow, and atop his sarcophigus was a 30 foot C(^K, I kid you not it was a 30' schlong. The now recovered Walker moved into the room to examine the Sarcophagus and was instantly set upon by the member which attempted to grapple with him. The valiant dwarf charged the beast and was engulfed, even I Maedhros was forced to attack the thing and while the dwarf was grappled and covered in the foul stuff oozing from it, and the weapon wielded by Walker Boh was snatched from him by the slime emanating from the creature. Eventually the thing was dead, and the party found the poxy treasure that lay within the tomb. This happened tonight I swear by all thats holy I don't think I've laughed that schlong, (sorry I couldn't resist), in ages, we were all in tears, it was brilliant. BTW I love the job, its bloody important there are targets everwhere and a serious mistake could lead to someone being thrown out on the street but the office as an environment is great, no stress really, and the people are really cool, (except Tony (see earlier post)). Life is quite good right now.
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I'm definately in a must have music mood I've got to go out so charged the Mp3 damned good I may be gone some time
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Finally the new album on October 3rd (US release at least), called Open the Door. You can catch the video for the first single on the website and it's great. A Little annoying that all the announced dates for the 'World Tour' are currently in the US, but there ya go.
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Oh almost forgot, "when I woke up I did that thought I was awake when I wasn't thing, my first clue that I wasn't was Seraph and Goth_weasel standing at the foot of my bed with huge toffee apples and my head felt suspiciously bruised"
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Synergy didn't ring. Oh Well Because of a series of conditions too complicated to go into here I would be better off financially if I go with the other agency I was talking about, so true to my word I rang them and no-one was in have left a message, waiting for a phone call is up there on my least favorite things list. Bloody cheek I'm ringing up about my life getting better and the damned woman hasn't even got the precognitive ability to be in, humph!!!!! Anyway, woke up this morning after little sleep so after tormenting myself with daytime TV for a while (Friends repeats, and House auction shows), went back to sleep. Had one of those really vivid dreams that you remember for ages. "I was at a church somewhere in Aspley I think, walking down the road with Mcnazgul chatting about how to get somewhere, then I was in a church with R talking to a lovely blonde woman about the tapestry she was taking off the wall. wow Not a patch on Gillian Anderson and the Mars Bar.
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The Start Today I have Set up my very own Ebid Shop (like Ebay but mostly free and less well known) It's called Brondak's Forge (Yeah, Yeah I know) and it's currently listing stuff I'm getting rid of at the moment. I created a really cool (I think) Banner for it but it won't show when I look at the store, and I don't know why. We'll see how it goes. I'm mostly sitting waiting for the phone to ring about somebody dropping out of the Synergy Training thing I applied for, (The FOOLS!!!!), if that doesn't happen then I ring an agency I know and start back with them, crap job, mind numbing boredom and massive over compensation for it at the weekends (money allowing) Also all this new me planning "Give it some Wellie" (I love that), I would greatly appreciate it if none of you who know me and the monkey would let him in on the thing, as I see him as part of the problem, (I'm just not sure how big a part yet). Looking forward to tonight as we find out who it is on the phone to Maria and if she is about to be atomised where she stands, although she may actually be too stubborn to die. Oh well back to the shop, bloody hell, my own shop.
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New Mage I've decided is like New Coke, pointless. The old system had things that the characters could have blow up in their faces, like Paradox which made PC's think about what they were doing and added a sense of danger to the thing. New Mage you would have to be cursed to have paradox get ya if the conditions were met and paradox did go off then you can just buy it off, and since one of the new conditions which is definately going to get you is casting vulgar magic then you'd think that would be that. No, at least one ability given to one of my players is the ability to rip off damaged skin from any part of his body that is wounded and regrow it, in front of witnesses?, sure because for some bloody reason it's no longer Vulgar. I would draw a comparison between this new crap and a super hero game but the abilities you get aren't powerful enough for that. Plus as a mate of mine pointed out recently starting characters aren't as powerful as mortals in a lot of areas, B((*%$£ks Okay so far we've changed the Generation starting points, and we're working on the deranged bloody Wisdom/Morality system which generally means if you come up with this substandard Mage character thingy, if you actually manage to do anything to anybody then it's possible you could go mad from guilt. I don't (and never have)like the idea of rewriting a gaming system before the system is picked up, (we as a group and I as a ref are still learning), but having said that this thing has more useless bits of crap in it than anything I've seen in years. Yo White Wolf leave well enough alone. Hey maybe we ought to write our own fan based WoD material and keep sanity alive.
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If anything other than the work ethic would be responsible for forcing me back into employment, it would be days like today. A long boring skint Saturday where I was sitting there watching The Swarm, and occasionally switching to Back to the Future III wishing more than anything that I was in Travelling Man in Nottingham agonising over which new D+D books to get this week and finishing up at the Pub somewhere instead of spending another weekend waiting for a game as my only form of entertainment that I haven't gotten V bored of. The monkey even lent me a couple of RTS's to try out, and neither of them worked karmically speaking I think I'm in for a lottery win soon (if I ever remember to buy a sodding ticket) BTW Mcnazgul I took the survey and came out as Blade, so considering the results you and the missus got we are talking major crossover here. Providing of course blade was an overweight, unemployed, white, RPGing, Comic Collecting nutcase who doesn't sleep as much as he should. Hey talk about a gap in the market. Night Night all
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I've been a prat I've spent a lot of time being satisfied with very little and occasionally going ooo when looking at other peoples lives and I've had enough. I have a monkey in charge of one of the most vital aspects of my life, where I live. That needs to change I have no job because it's very easy to get comfortable being able to do what you want instead of what you need to do. That needs to change I have no significant other because of one stupid woman who thought it would be alright to run off with a 'friend' who we were putting up because his flat burnt down. Because of that I have had trust issues for a lot of years now and you can't really live like that. That needs to change. In short I've been afraid of doing anything normal because I wasn't brought up to expect anything else except a long self involved existence of having very little and someday possibly breeding, i've been afraid to stick my neck out for 13 years not because of a fear of failure, If we fail we go on and try again. I was afraid of succeeding. That has changed. 36 is a little old to start living your life, but I've got nothing else on. It might be fun. *pant, pant* Okay serious rant over.
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A mate 'o mine told me that various people I know hang out on LJ, and I found them, which is cool. Tomorrow is Saturday, another great 24 hours of putting off things I really, or want to be doing. Sunday Mage will be done on Sunday (besides they barely touched the stuff I did for them last week) The new Fantasy thing I'm planning needs reading for (I turn to look at the Book monster and weep, WEEP I TELL YOU) The Project just needs more bloody typing But the interesting thing kicks off next week. I still don't know where this'll be going but oh what the hell I've not taken a risk in so long that I forgot what real fear is like. A while ago a good friend of mine said she wanted "sparkly Jules back" It's taken me a while to figure out what she meant but I think I remember where I left him. Cheers S. It's 01:54am
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Well here goes, this is the first time I've done anything like this so if I make a prat of myself don't hesitate to traumatise me. My name, probably isn't important right now. I'm 36 I live in Nottingham, England, am single (regretably), Unemployed (currently) and dissatisfied with life in general hence this leap into the void (so to speak). I am a fanatical RPG'er, Comioc Collector, and occasional brooder. My interests also include singing when I think no one is listening, making plans that go nowhere and some that go right where I want them to. Now this, I need, I think to get on with my life and do some stuff that's different, new, fun and perhaps even constructive. The way this goes I will probably be putting here, so people can laugh, sympathise, send hate mail or whatever. Oh BTW if any of my friends recognise this give me the nod, (come on guys even a seriously handicapped dead bird could figure this out). More later when I figure out how this works. See Y'all later
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disappointed
nostalgic
happy
indescribable
irritated
accomplished
weird
nervous